"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have."

I have two little girls.

Echo is 3. Scarlett is 4 months, 3 weeks.

Scarlett is a special needs child.

A month and a half ago, we found this out. That she has a whole handful of things we have never heard of. That will change her life. Change our lives.

She is blind, and is expected to have many developmental, physical, and learning disabilities because of her conditions. (More on that later.)

I get so many texts, messages, and people telling me, "You're so brave. I don't know how you do it. Your courage and positivity are amazing and so inspiring!" I love hearing that. I appreciate all of the kind words and encouragement.  

Because sometimes, I don't feel that way at all.

I cry sometimes. A lot.

I think about Scarlett's future. I think, "Will she be happy? Will she have friends? What if children make fun of her as she walks by? Will she ever go to prom or have a boyfriend? What if she is never able to live on her own? To feel independent, to feel like her own person?"

I worry. Every parent worries. But with this, I feel like my worries are magnified.

Ever since high school, I volunteered a lot in my free time. I visited the elderly, did projects for soldiers, donated to women's shelters, and worked and donated blood at the Red Cross blood drives.

But one group of people I never volunteered with was special needs people. I just always thought, "It takes a special person with a big heart to take care of them. And I am definitely not one of those people." Does that make sense? I firmly believe it's not a job for just anyone.

Man, did God have plans for me!....

When it's your child, everything changes. Your mindset changes. The way you process things and make plans changes. Your heart grows a little more, and so does your understanding. 

When it's your child, you research EVERYTHING you can. For a cure. For answers, for help. To learn more about your child. To get a better idea of what to expect for the future.

When it's your child, you DO do it. You take care of that little person with everything you've got. You try your best to be brave, to smile and be strong, so that your family won't be afraid. You try your best to be positive, to look for the good in things. Because things could be so much worse....you could always not have this little angel. This little baby is here, and loves you. You are her whole life, and all she knows. You are the one who takes care of them. Who not only feeds, changes, and plays with them, but who goes to every doctor appointment, gives every dose of medicine, is there for every therapy day, and sleeps countless nights on a couch besides their hospital bed. 

I do it because she is my child. Because I love her, and I want to give her a good life. A happy life. I want her to love and be loved.

The little things make you celebrate. Because they are a HUGE deal for your kid! You learn to appreciate every little milestone they meet, because it shows you how much of a miracle your baby is. 

And the smile they give you each day reminds you that while it may be hard, it will always be worth it.